Did you see the little blurb in the Sunday NY Times business section? MBA students from the top 15 schools were asked to select the 3 topo factors they wanted in a job. #1 was ‘challenging job responsibilities”. The second was money - not the first as many think. Work-life balance followed and then came ‘potential to make a contribution to society’. These are MBA students, not teachers or social workers, and although money is important to them they want to contribute.

A survey in 2000 found that the most frequently expressed emotion at work was anger and the least frequently expressed emotion was joy.  When I mentioned this to a group of b-school students a few days ago most were not surprised. Anger, they report, is common in their work experience. Expressing joy is associated with being a ‘lightweight’. It is not professional. Anger is associated with power, joy with weakness. This is obviously a problem for all of us. While anger has a place and can be an intelligent emotion, joy and other positive emotions are critical to idea generation and enhancing cooperation.  The question is, how do we express joy, or happiness, or as Josh has noted, appreciation and gratitude, in a way that is accepted and heard by people?  And how can we convince leaders of the importance - and ‘professionalism’ - of the expression of joy?

I found this article intriguing, both in the framing and the advice. The setup is that while we talk a lot about things being different in our organizations (and lives), most of us won’t actually do much about it. Is that ok with you?

… the truth is we will all still be at the same spot next year, fussing about the way we are organizing, prioritizing and delegating.

But what would happen if we were determined to make a real change in the way we lead our organizations this year? Perhaps we should ask ourselves the more compelling question…what will happen in our organization this year if nothing changes in the way we lead?

In considering my own challenges as a leader, there are some results I want this year - this question is leading me to wonder: Am I really willing to work for it? I’m pretty comfortable with the way things are right now - it’s not all it could be, but is pretty great. Hard work to change - worth it? Will think!

Sometimes I wish I could just “press the button” and have change done.

But change takes persistent effort. I don’t mind working HARD - its keeping it in focus day after day that’s so difficult.

The article then provides seven ideas of things to do differently - hard things like building better relationships, holding onto vision, and being authentic. These take a lot of courage and risk - I’d have to be a bit less comfortable, and I’d have to be willing to risk making others uncomfortable. Takes a lot of emotional intelligence to manage that. Where’s an good EQ consultant when you need one??

Like so many of my clients, I know this - but doing it is harder than knowing it.

Hm. So what’s it gonna be? Comfort or learning? I’ll let you know next year.

Check out the article - Gregg Thompson — WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF NOTHING CHANGES? (The Point, Jan 08)

Seattle Post Intelligencer, 6/5/07

Couple quotes I liked:

You can’t change what you are unaware of in yourself. Being able to observe yourself in the heat of the moment is the first step to making a different choice versus your typical programmed emotional reaction.

This comment is key:

There is valuable information in emotions — if you can tune into that internal channel. Feelings can clue us in about the importance and meaning of an event, situation or interaction.

Would be nice to see more depth in what appears in popular media. “Emotions matter” is a good start though!

I recently interviewed Dan Goleman about Social Intelligence, leadership, and emotional intelligence. Check out the full Neural Leadership article here.

“Mirror neurons are a kind of ‘neural wi-fi’ that monitors what is happening in the other people. This system tracks their emotions, what movements they’re making, what they intend and it activates, in our brains, precisely the same brain areas as are active in the other person,” Goleman explains. “This puts us on the same wavelength and it does it automatically, instantaneously and unconsciously.”

This is an excellent article:

How Emotional Is Too Emotional?
Nan Mooney, Inc

Mooney says women frequently ask what to do about “being too emotional” at work — I get this question a lot too, and have worried that, as a man, my response might miss the point… so I was glad to read this!
“Professional women are frequently tagged “emotional,” as if it’s a flaw they should learn to overcome. But emotion in the workplace isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

Excerpts:
In my varied career history, I haven’t found that women are more emotional than men on the job. We may be more comfortable expressing those emotions, since we live in a society that encourages women to be the feelers and men the thinkers and doers. But being quicker to key into the emotional aspects of a situation largely works to our benefit. It means we may pick up on a client’s or colleague’s unhappiness, make subtle adjustments in a plan or project to please everyone involved, and — best of all — form more trusting and respectful professional relationships.

The place where I think Mooney misses the mark is recommendations of what to DO about emotions. The central premise of emotional intelligence is that emotions are a resource to help us understand and manage the world — inside and outside. Emotions are information and energy — data and commitment. Emotional intelligence helps us access the data and tap the energy. When we DON’T do that, emotions well up and spiral out of control. Women and men are socialized to cope with “out of control” emotions differently (as Mooney suggests, bursting into tears vs pounding the steering wheel and cursing) — but it’s the same reaction.

The real secret is to access the information of the emotions - tune in, gain insight - and then use that data to make a better decision. When we do so, the energy of the emotions automatically transforms into a motive force toward resolution - that’s the power of emotional intelligence!