What are the qualities of a President of the United States who takes on the mantle of leader? On the MSNBC program “Tim Russert,” Doris Kearns Goodwin, presidential historian, shared the qualities she feels we should be looking for in the President of the United States. Here are the qualities she submitted:

*withstanding adversity

*diverse perspectives

*loyalty

*admitting mistakes

*managing emotions

*defining goals

*knowing how to relax

Throughout the entire hour program it was evident to me as a emotional intelligence practitioner that she was primarily talking about emotional intelligence. In her discussion about “withstanding adversity” she talked of former presidents and the presidential candidates of 2008. The practice of optimism, resiliency, and perseverance modeled for others can bring energy and power to those they lead. The leaders have been “tested.” We know from the study of many leaders, they have had to withstand enormous obstables, “picked themselves up,” and went forward.

“Diverse perspectives” relates to how leaders learn from others, including from those with whom they disagree on many issues. A leader surrounding themselves with only “yes people” only hears their own voice and views.  They are not challenged to revisit their beliefs and perhaps even enrich their beliefs, if they are not listening to others.With a leader utilizing their emotional literacy, navigating emotions, empathy, and noble goals, really all of the EI competencies, this is when they truly are able to engage others in decision-making. Without engaging “diverse perspectives” a leader is not connected to the relationships they have with the people.

The attributes of “loyalty” and “admitting mistakes” can really be discussed together in that the loyalty that the President has for his/her people is shown most vividly when being true to oneself. Admitting mistakes in the work for the citizenry can show a loyalty that transcends any other work with which the President focuses. Most of the emotional intelligence competencies ring through these qualities.

“Managing emotions” so clearly relates to EI. We may call it “navigating emotions,” with Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Network, but it really is the same. There are so many instances when the information gleaned from anger, frustration, sadness, happiness,  and joy can bring power, energy, and clarity to a president’s message. The job of the President of the United States is to be able to transform those emotions into messages that enlist, energize, and empower the citizens. Additionally, “defining goals” relates to “managing emotions” in that a president needs to use the data from their emotions and create a clear message that communicates shared purpose.

Lastly, being able to relax is an important quality for a president, as with any leader. President of the United States has almost an unequaled amount of stress in their lives. Taking the time for reflection, time with family, a sport, or perhaps a hobby is an extremely important part of the lives of any leader.

 I believe Doris Kearns Goodwin’s list is almost complete. I would definitely add empathy as another quality. She alluded to it many times in the program, but did not name it. It is clearly evident that emotional intelligence competencies are at the core of any leader, not just President of the United States.

“Some days all I want to be is a missing person.” - shouted the bumper sticker on the car in front to me. Have I ever felt like the slogan on the bumper sticker; you bet I have. Some days the feelings of being overwhelmed from the stuff life throws at you just makes me want to become a missing person.

Soon after I had that delicious interlude with escaping, the words of the poet David Whyte grabbed my attention, “If you stop thinking about the world, the world stops thinking about you.” I then wanted to blow my horn and get the drivers attention and yell, “The world needs you – don’t run away!”

Soon the light changed and both of us continued on our day’s journey. My mind kept reflecting on the bumper sticker and David’s words. I couldn’t help appreciate the importance of understanding emotions and how powerful they are in determining how we approach life. Feelings of being overwhelmed and scared can kick off a cycle of reactions that could result in running away – literally and figuratively. Or we could use a simple but profound process of validating how we are feeling, exploring the why(s) that helped generate the feeling and begin to assess the consequences of our reaction. Many times, this in itself can soothe that desire to run and help us formulate a response that doesn’t risk the world forgetting about me. The world needs the best of all of us.

Daniel Goleman spoke at TED earlier this year and his talk entitled “Why are we all good Samaritans” is now on their site and you can watch it here.

This is an incredible story - a great question to ask yourself!

I just finished posting new research on emotional intelligence and age.

This study started in a workshop where we were talking about Noble Goals. In our model, the “capstone” competence of emotional intelligence is Pursue Noble Goals — there are two reasons:
1. When we engage in the pursuit of purpose we are less defensive and reactive — less about our own ego and more about the larger vision. This allows us, even compels us, to manage our emotions more effectively.
2. Really, what’s the point? We can teach people to be more intelligent at problem-solving and they invent ways to hack the net. We can teach people to be more intelligent at engineering and they develop better ways of killing. We can teach people to be more intelligent about emotions and they become master manipulators. Voila, job done, let’s call it a day. Oh - wait - missed something…. So “intelligence” isn’t enough. We need to apply that intelligence — this is wisdom. So Pursuing a Noble Goal is a way to focus our emotional aptitude and move toward wisdom.

Anyway - point of the story: One of the managers I was training said, “Aren’t older people naturally better at this competence? It seems like young people, at least in my company, don’t really have a vision.” Hrmuph.

So I asked our research team to find out.

The answer is yes - older people are slightly more likely to be emotionally intelligent - at least in four of our eight competencies. I’m excited about this result - it shows that EQ is learned and it does develop with life experience and that age isn’t enough: You have to work to learn these skills.