2 Simple Steps to Overcome Anxiety with EQ
Research shows that a few simple emotional tools can help you overcome anxiety and lead to better performance.
This is a sequel to my article on naming emotions, Getting Unstuck: The Power of Naming Emotions.
One of the cruelest ironies of anxiety is that it severely inhibits our “higher order” thinking processes – our ability to analyze and empathize, to think creatively, to exercise optimism.
So when we’re doing things that make us nervous – like giving a presentation, having a difficult conversation, or interviewing for a job – anxiety takes away the exact abilities that will help us succeed. Why does it do this? Our stress response system evolved to deal with immediate threats, like stalking tigers in the jungle. In that situation, it worked perfectly well to limit higher order thinking: You don’t negotiate or empathize with tigers. You don’t need to think outside the box: fight, flight or freeze are the only good options. But in today’s world, those higher order thinking skills are the exact skills needed to deal with the stressors that most commonly arise.
So what can we do about this? Here are 2 simple and effective strategies to overcome anxiety with emotional intelligence.
Step #1: Tell yourself how you feel
The first is to name your emotions – yes, literally, name them. When I first heard this, I was like, “Name my emotions? You must be confused. I know exactly what I am feeling, and that’s the problem!” But research has shown that labeling emotions lessens the intensity of the feeling by bridging the gap between thoughts and feelings. They tested this at UCLA with people who are very scared of spiders, and the ones who labeled their fearful emotions out loud showed the least physiological signs of anxiety – like your heart racing, feet tapping involuntarily or palms getting sweaty. Name it to tame it.
So say it loud and proud the next time you are feeling anxious, “I am anxious!” It helps – a lot.
Step # 2: Give your feelings a slightly different spin
The next step, after you have reduced the power of your nervousness by simply acknowledging it, is to reframe it in a positive way. Instead of trying to calm yourself down by saying things like, “I am not nervous,” you are better off telling yourself, “I am excited!” Trying to do away with the feelings is nearly impossible. Instead, take those same feelings and give them something more positive to work toward.
The effectiveness of this method, known as “anxious reappraisal,” has been shown by Alison Wood Brooks’ research at the Harvard Business School. In her studies, she had participants do some pretty anxiety-inducing tasks, like singing Don’t Stop Believin’ in front of a group, giving speeches on camera, and completing a timed math test. Before completing the tasks, the participants were told to say “I am anxious!”, “I am excited!”, or nothing.
And what did she find?
Remarkably, those who were told to say “I am excited!” performed better on all of the tasks. They sang better, according to a computerized measurement of tone and pitch. They gave speeches that were judged as more persuasive, confident, and persistent. And on the math tests, they outperformed the other two groups. They were the star performers across the board.
But how can this be? Brooks posits that this is because anxiety and excitement are both high arousal emotional states, characterized by a faster heart beat and higher levels of cortisol. So it’s less of a jump from anxiety to excitement than from anxiety to calmness. In fact, the excited group was no less amped up – in terms of heart rate and cortisol levels – than the anxious group. They simply channeled it differently.
It’s a simple, but radical, idea. Instead of swimming against the current of your own emotions, you swim with them, embracing them. You change where you choose to put your focus – from anxiety and what could go wrong to excitement and the opportunity at hand. This is the power of naming and reframing emotions.
Check out this article for more on Alison Wood Brooks’ research and watch the video below from The Atlantic.
What’s new in emotional intelligence?
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Pamela Barker’s journey began with healing bodies, but it was her discovery of emotional intelligence that unlocked her true purpose: helping others achieve overall well-being and healthy connections. From her days as a physical therapist to becoming a passionate EQ coach, Pamela’s story is one of transformation, resilience, and the power of connection. Her experience shows that real change starts from within.
Harnessing Emotional Intelligence: How Sara Canna Supports Employees and Transforms People’s Lives at the World Health Organization (WHO)
Emotional intelligence is more than just a buzzword—it’s a transformative tool that can reshape how we navigate challenges, build relationships, and thrive in demanding environments. Discover how Sara Canna brought EQ to the World Health Organization, empowering employees to manage change, stress, and personal growth.
From Corporate Consultant to Coach: Elise Jones’ Emotional Intelligence Journey-Voices from the Network
Elise Jones transformed her career by embracing emotional intelligence, shifting from a corporate consultant to a passionate EQ Coach. Through authentic connections, she found deeper fulfilment, proving that strong relationships are key to a happier, more meaningful life.
Want to Manage Your Emotions More Effectively? Find Time to Journal About Challenging Experiences
Daily journaling to reframe unpleasant events can significantly reduce depressive symptoms, lessen stress, and increase life satisfaction.
A Journey through Empathy & Optimism: Amy Jimison in Voices from the Network
When you feel stuck and can’t see a way out, how do you navigate change? Certified Coach and leadership expert Amy Jimison shares her approach.
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I tried this today …. renamed my anxiety and called it excited…. I’m astonished at the effect!! Years and years of severe GAD all sorts of therapies, drugs and self research…. so delighted … this really works …. 10000000 thank yous ❤️
Michael, I like this article very much – pretty simple and effective strategy to deal with anxiety.
When reading the article, one finding really changed my initial idea around emotion switching. Previously I thought the path from strong “negative” emotion to strong “positive” emotion was: first reduce the level of negative emotion to become calm, and then from calmness to increase the positive emotion. Yet, I agree that “it’s less of a jump from anxiety to excitement than from anxiety to calmness”. Therefore, I will definitely refine my initial idea to incorporate this.
Hi Leslie! I hope you’re doing well. Thanks for the kind words about the article. I think there is definitely still value in naming an emotion to calm down when we are in a heightened state, but sometimes it is not realistic to calm down completely. In those cases, it’s more effective to utilize that energy by reframing it in a positive way. The ideal state is some combination of calming and reframing.
Thanks a lot for this important article as i was searching for this similar kind of information and found out your article which i think is great help for people like us who always has been on low confidence and has fear of interviews so thanks a lot for this article. Kudos to this article.Going to bookmark this for sure.
Article is beautiful by saying:
Acknowledge the feeling & Rename it positively…
This seems similar to the concept of Eustress or positive stress, which helps in achieving optimal performance. Too little results in boredom or ‘underwhelm’ and too much causes us to be overwhelmed! This works well in coaching when the coach asks powerful questions to help the client think differently.
Anxiety to Excitement…. Very important technique to master…. Rub on Rub off
Hi Michael,
Thanks for sharing these twchniques and the science behind them. I can easily see the link between anxious and excited but I was hoping you might be able to give some examples of how to apply this (and whether you can to more negative emotions? Nx
I am always faced with nervousness during high impact activities. Will try this for sure. Thank you for sharing
Very Good i like that its a simple way to show a change in emotion around words
Thanks Michael! I taught others to use the calming and breathing technique to reduce anxiety but now learn new approach to overcome it – Naming and reframing it positively. Good article.