An (Emotionally Intelligent) Love Story for this Valentine’s Day

As of today, Valentine’s Day, I have been post-op for exactly two weeks. I am hobbling around on crutches, so the moonlit walk on the beach would be messy and cumbersome. I haven’t properly showered since the surgery, so the fellow fancy restaurant goers might find me unrefined. But don’t worry about me. If Valentine’s Day means feeling extravagantly loved by your mate, then I have been celebrating Valentine’s Day for every single day of these two weeks.

I meant it. That is saying a lot for this saccharine-sweet couple. We met during a wildly romantic summer in Guatemala that resembled a Nicholas Sparks novel. Kisses in the pouring rain; slow, heart-filled kayak rides on the most beautiful lake in the world; slow dances outside of random music-filled houses. He was the first person I’d ever met who would look into my eyes and not ever look away. I was mindblown. That summer was a homecoming for my soul; it had found its mate.

Those first few months were magical. We sparkled with novelty and a movie-like quality of “this can’t be real.” But these last two weeks have been real and raw.

Without a healthy dose of emotional intelligence, Michael could easily be feeling overworked and under-appreciated. Without emotional intelligence, I could easily be feeling neglected and resentful. This surgery saga could damage a lot of couples; the non-stop needs of one can be so draining to both. Instead, empathy, consequential thinking, and pursuing noble goals have transformed this experience into an opportunity for exploring the depths and strengths of our love.

Let’s talk about empathy. Michael has been the most extraordinary, empathetic caretaker. He makes me breakfast in bed with homemade pesto. He rubs my feet and finds my fuzzy socks when my toes are freezing from decreased circulation. He enthusiastically cheers me on when I do something difficult. He has brought me no less than 200 glasses of water. I asked him what gives him the strength to keep taking care of me, and this was his typical light-hearted and thoughtful response: “It’s empathy. Of course I will get you water. I can put myself in your shoes, and you can’t even put your shoes on!”

Michael’s noble goal is to appreciate (and help others appreciate) that life is a miracle. His belief in his noble goal shines through everything he has done these past two weeks. He treats this time together as so precious; human connection is a miracle of life. He makes me the most delicious, fresh food from scratch; the abundant food that comes from our earth and sun is a miracle of life. He holds my leg up to help me move around with the most gentle reverence; the body’s ability to heal is a miracle of life.

This whole experience illuminates two realizations for me. One: emotional intelligence has the power to transform difficult, challenging situations into opportunities for intense growth and beauty. Two: I already have all I want this Valentine’s Day, and his name is Michael. What a miracle of life, indeed.

Do you have an emotionally intelligent Valentine you’d like to brag on? Share your story in the comments below— we promise not to get jealous 🙂

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