Emotional Insights for Leaders: Compassion and How to Build Relationships

In this installment of the Emotional Literacy Series, we turn our spotlight onto an emotion that sows the seeds of community, positive organizational culture, and success: Compassion.

By Svetlana Suvorova – LinkedIn

Our mantra remains the same: emotions are not just welcome at work; they are essential. As leaders, recognizing and understanding our emotional landscape fuels our self-awareness and fosters empathy, building resilient teams that drive performance.

Emotion Spotlight – COMPASSION

“Compassion is not a luxury, it is a necessity.” – Dalai Lama

Let’s start with etymology (the study of word origins). “Compassion” is derived from Latin, translating to “suffer together.”

• “Com-” stands for “with” or “together.”
• “-passion” comes from “pati,” meaning “to suffer.”

To me, ‘compassion’ means recognizing our own suffering and allowing space for our experiences, just as they are. When we reassure ourselves, saying, “It’s your first attempt. Mistakes and learning are part of the process,” or “You’re not in their shoes; misunderstandings can arise,” we’re essentially allowing ourselves to feel and be with our emotions. 

Compassion, then, might be the empathy for emotions, a bridge that enables both ourselves and others to genuinely connect with feelings.

So yes, undoubtedly it’s a necessity for all of us.

Understanding COMPASSION

Definition: A feeling that invites empathy towards oneself and others’ pain.

Message: “Feel the struggles of yourself and others, and act with kindness.“

Feeling: Warmth in the chest, moist eyes, a soft facial expression, slower breathing, and an open posture.

COMPASSION in Leadership

As a leader, feeling compassion ensures that employees feel heard, seen and appreciated. It deepens bonds and unifies teams. Through compassion, leaders sow the seeds of community and a positive organizational culture, propelling collective success.

Useful when:

Anytime and everywhere(well, almost)! From team conflicts and demanding projects to organizational shifts, errors, or personal challenges, compassion has a role to play.

Not useful when: 

While compassion is a valuable leadership trait, balancing it with other qualities like discernment, fairness, and a focus on the organization’s broader goals is as important. Having candid conversations is also a facet of compassion – “clear is kind.”

Potential pitfalls of unchecked compassion include:

• Avoiding Tough Decisions: Out of compassion, leaders might delay necessary actions like layoffs or disciplinary measures, potentially harming the organization.
• Overlooking Performance Issues: Continuously excusing poor performance can lead to decreased productivity and team morale.
• Blurring Boundaries: Excessive compassion can blur professional and personal lines, risking favoritism or conflicts of interest.
• Delaying Feedback: Avoiding giving crucial feedback to spare feelings can hinder an employee’s growth and project outcomes.

Communication tips: 

• Active Listening and Validation: Practice active listening by repeating back what you’ve heard and validating the emotions of your team members. e.g., “So, what I’m hearing is...”
• Set Clear Boundaries: While being compassionate, also set clear professional boundaries to avoid conflicts. e.g., “I understand your perspective, and I appreciate you sharing it. Let’s circle back to it during our scheduled meeting.“
• Be Transparent: While it’s essential to be kind, it’s equally crucial to be clear. If a tough decision is made, explain the reasoning behind it. e.g., “I understand this isn’t easy, but here’s why we’re taking this direction…“

🌟 Weekly Exercise:

Perhaps feeling compassion for oneself is where we struggle the most, and that’s where I propose we begin. This week, I’m referencing an exercise shared by Sharmadean Reid, a women entrepreneur I deeply respect. When you feel stuck with something, reflect on this set of questions, especially the last one:

– What is the issue?

– What are the facts?

– Where do I feel powerless?

– What is in my control?

– Where can I find compassion for myself?

Compassion is our bridge to genuine human experiences, creating environments where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.

Let’s strive to be the change, one compassionate act at a time.

This post originally appeared as part of The EQ Edge newsletter on LinkedIn. You can subscribe here.

Svetlana Suvorova, a Certified EQ Coach, merges her corporate leadership experience with a passion for emotional intelligence, empowering leaders to leverage their emotions for success. Living in five countries has ignited her love for people and languages. Fluent in the language of emotions, she provides fresh insights into understanding and channeling them effectively. She’s leading the charge to redefine emotions in the workplace, offering bespoke coaching, in-depth training, and impactful keynotes. Stay in tune with her vision through her weekly newsletter, The EQ Edge.