This is the web version of Six Seconds’ Voices from the Network newsletter. To subscribe to this and other newsletters from Six Seconds, click here.

Why do people choose to develop emotional intelligence and why do they turn to Six Seconds for their path?
In “Voices from Six Seconds Network,” we introduce you to people in the network who share their experiences, personal journeys, and how they embrace EQ in different areas of their daily lives.

Jacqui Butler and Svetlana Suvorova’s Journey from EQ Coaches to Entrepreneurs: Empowering Women Leaders with Emotional Intelligence

by Maddalena Campitelli

“I’m really excited and passionate that (through LeadEQ) we’re able to shift the narrative, showing that we (women) can be authentic, we can show up as our true selves, we can show empathy for the people that we work with, and we can talk about emotions.”.
– Jacqui Butler

When Jacqui Butler and Svetlana Suvorova met in Six Seconds’ EQ Coach Certification program in 2022, they clicked right away. After building a strong connection of mutual support and collaboration, they recently launched a joint venture, LeadEQ, to support women leaders. This is their story of finding EQ, each other, and a deeply meaningful path of professional growth.

LeadEQ supports women leaders to be themselves

LeadEQ supports women leaders to develop emotional intelligence skills and show up more authentically. Using the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI) and TFA process, Jacqui and Svetlana work with clients through individual and group coaching and facilitation.

“It’s really about how we can encourage women to incorporate work into their life in a more seamless way,” Jacqui says, “so that they’re not trying to be a different version of themselves when they go to work, or they’re not trying to leave at home the fact that they’re also mothers or partners, so that they’re able to go to work as their complete authentic self with integrity and be really effective and meet objectives.”

Jacqui and Svetlana share strength and support as entrepreneurs and mothers

As working moms themselves, LeadEQ was born from the support Jacqui and Svetlana offered each other as they launched new businesses –LeadWell and Rocklit Partners respectively- after finishing the EQ Coach certification program. “Starting a new business can be so hard and isolating,” Jacqui says, “and it’s been essential to work together. Without Lana I would feel a lot more lonely, I know that. It’s great to have a sounding board of someone who’s really like minded.” Jacqui and Lana were together in the program all the way, so they really connected deeply. Back then, Jacqui was pregnant with her third boy and somewhere in the middle of the program Lana got pregnant, too. So they had the chance to share this phase and the emotions which came along.

Lana agrees that for new coaches it can be hard at the beginning. Even if you are so in love with EQ, self-development and coaching, the business side of starting your own business is challenging. But you have to do it and many coaches struggle to orient themselves in the working world once they have finished the program. She says: “They don’t know where to start, what to do, and they go through all the experiments and make mistakes. It’s like you are walking blindly, so you really need someone to hold your hand while you’re doing all these scary and overwhelming things in order to find your way.” So at the time of finishing the program, when Jacqui and Lana were both expecting children, in addition to launching similar business ventures, Jacqui messaged Lana to catch up after a call. That turned into weekly “accountability calls” where they were also working on their business goals – and that eventually led to LeadEQ. 

But how did they both end up in Six Seconds’ EQ Coaching program? They took different – although in some ways similar – paths.

Lana’s Journey: COVID burnout and looking for something more

Lana had been working in the corporate field for eight years, and when Covid hit she realized that she wasn’t happy, but also on the edge of a burnout: “I was just overwhelmed with all the emotions and I didn’t know what to do back then, until I noticed that I was just crying more often. Even in the office sometimes I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore, it was just so dreadful to go to work everyday.” Reaching this point led her to emotional intelligence: she wanted clarity. Lana had to understand what to do with all those emotions and there was something she was missing. She signed up for a self awareness program that a friend was running at the time, and during the course she learned for the first time in her life about emotions. “I was 30, and I was so surprised to the point that I was even angry asking myself ‘Why didn’t anyone teach this at school, and why is it the first that I’m hearing about this?’”. This experience fueled her to go deeper. She started to read more on the topic and then, when reading alone got boring, she enrolled in another course. Initially, she wasn’t thinking about coaching, but she just wanted something that would have kept her accountable and brought her clear progress. First, her journey started with a neuro linguistic program and by the time it led her to emotional intelligence and Six Seconds Lana was all in. She was convinced she wanted to become an EQ Coach. The experience was extremely positive as she felt that all the people she met in the program became very close: “It was easy to connect as we were learning the same things, and like most people who approach emotional intelligence because they have some kind of challenge in their personal or professional lives, I think we connected in our struggles and found this really meaningful way to deal with them.”. Another mentioned aspect that helped this connection process is the fact that through the course there is a lot of practice coaching in one on one breakout rooms that helps break down barriers and allows one to get to know the other person really well and to build trust.

(continues below…)

Meet Jacqui Butler  LinkedIn→ + LeadWell→

Professional achievements: Jacqui Butler is a certified Emotional Intelligence Coach (EQCC) passionate about connecting her clients with their potential, supporting them in living intentionally and showing up as their best self in all aspects of life. As an Executive Leadership coach and facilitator, she works closely with experienced and emerging leaders to find their inner purpose and live according to their values, both within the workplace and beyond. As a qualified nutritionist, she’s passionate about the mind-body connection and encourages wellness in clients, as so often emotional challenges lead to physical ailments. Working in a global leadership role reinforced her passion for cultivating cultures that are diverse and inclusive, kind and fun.

Favorite Six Seconds Learning Philosophy: No way is the way!
Learn about Six Seconds Learning Philosophies→

Noble Goal: “Be a positive force to empower all to reach their potential”
Learn about Six Seconds Noble Goals→

Her “Don’t Miss This” Six Seconds tools & courses: “I love the SEI LTC (Leading Through Change) and the Brain Profiles but the EQ Practitioner certification is by far my favorite of all because you do so much work which allows you to become so proficient in your own EQ.”

Another tool Jacqui thinks has a lot of benefit is the TFA exercise because “My clients, who are established leaders, are very much ingrained in their patterns of behavior and often think that how they are cannot be modified. But when I’m able to help them articulate the elements of a pattern – their thoughts, feelings, and action – it empowers them to be able to choose to change it and their behavior changes. I think this has a huge impact on people.”. She is also enthusiastic about the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI) because people want data and quantifiable information around EQ since they first think it is quite abstract and subjective and she says: “When you can give clients an actual graph and report, they accept the fact that it is something they can actually work on.”. <You can get your own deck of TFA Cards here>

Meet Svetlana Suvorova Linkedin→ + Rocklit Partners→

Professional achievements: Svetlana Suvorova is a Certified EQ Leadership Coach. She combines her corporate experience and passion for emotional intelligence to redefine emotional dynamics in the workplace through bespoke coaching, comprehensive training, and engaging keynotes. Her firsthand knowledge of the rationale-driven corporate environment drives her commitment to bridging the divide between feelings and rationale. With a rich global background, having lived and worked in multiple countries, she brings a unique international perspective to her practice. Currently based in Japan, Svetlana has collaborated with major Japanese corporations, including “sogo-shosha” – the traditional conglomerates at the heart of Japan’s economy. Known for her calm and balanced style, she ensures that her sessions are not only educational but also inspiring.  

Favorite Six Seconds Learning Philosophy: Wisdom Lies Within
Learn about Six Seconds Learning Philosophies→

Noble Goal: “Be a light for those who lost their will to burn”
Learn about Six Seconds Noble Goals→

Her “Don’t Miss This” Six Seconds tools & courses: Lana likes the overall Six Seconds model of EQ because it is about three core skills – self awareness, intention and purpose- which gives you clear questions to ask yourself in order to practice EQ: “How am I feeling? What options do I have? What is truly important to me?”. She says: “It’s simple, clear and it helps her introduce emotional intelligence in a practical way because people will be ‘Okay, that’s great, we got the concept, but what’s the first step to practicing it?’, and you can just use these three questions anytime you notice an emotion. Lana also loves the TFA tool because: “I think a lot of people confuse thoughts with emotions. Whenever I ask my clients about their emotions, almost always they come up with thoughts. This is because people don’t have much of a vocabulary around emotions, we’re not used to being asked about how we feel, and we are not used to reply with anything other than “fine” type of answers.”. In this context, TFA is really practical and easy to teach to discern thoughts from feelings and actions and helps identify patterns <Learn more about Enhance Emotional Literacy and Recognize Patterns>.

Jacqui’s journey: Amazing mentor and need for self-care spark love for EQ

Jacqui worked in a leadership role in the corporate space for 18 years. She had a leadership coach, a Six Seconds preferred partner (Alison Lalieu), whom her workplace had hired years earlier and who was a real revelation to her. This summed up to the fact that she had a real health challenge that forced her to stay in bed for a couple of weeks. This time gave Jacqui the opportunity to rethink what she really wanted her life to look like: “I figured out that my health situation was driven by stress and burnout. So working through all of the Six Seconds courses and programs helped me to create more balance in my life and prioritize my health. I think many people, especially when they become parents, start to put their children first, but forget to take care of themselves as well. This has sort of gone hand in hand for me, mental and emotional health alongside physical wellness.”. While progressing, Jacqui was amazed at how different she showed up as a leader, as a partner, and as a mom. That really spoke to her, as she started noticing that her colleagues were going to her looking for support saying ‘Hey, I’ve got this challenge with this person, can you give me some guidance on how I might approach this? Or ‘How do you think that I can help build trust?’. And that’s when she had her Ah-ha moment and realized: “This is what I love. How can I make this my job?”. So she actually reached out to her Six Seconds Regional Network Leader (Sue McNamana) and started doing the Practitioner Certification and then the Assessor Certification, and went on from there. 

Discovering EQ for Jacqui meant that it completely changed the course of her career as well and it also significantly changed how she’s a parent, a friend, a sister and a wife: “Without being too dramatic,” Jacqui says,” EQ completely changed my life.” She says that when you are tuned to your emotions you become aware of and aligned to your values, your boundaries and your purpose, and you have a better understanding of what you are doing here and what is it all for. She also says that this shift allowed her to move from passenger to driver seat because you realize that: “If you’re feeling out of alignment, if you’re feeling upset more often than not, you can go hang on a minute and think ‘I can make a choice here’”. On this matter, a problematic and misleading aspect that Jacqui emphasizes is that people think that you either have EQ or you don’t. She says: “I think a lot of people feel as if either you are emotionally intelligent, if you’re a people person, or you’re not. Therefore people are really surprised to learn that you can actually measure it, teach it, you can learn it and grow it. With actual effort you can improve your EQ and make better choices.”.

EQ didn’t make relationships easier, but more meaningful

Jacqui and Lana both agree that they wouldn’t say relationships are easier now. Jacqui often jokes that she doesn’t do small talk anymore but only does big talk. She says: “It’s not necessarily easier, but everything is more meaningful.”.

According to Lana EQ is in everything, in relationships, parenting, friendship, family, coaching, is everywhere and daily. She likes to journal about her feelings now that she has a 6-months old baby and it’s harder to find time for herself and to journal as much as she used to. But she likes to talk about her feelings with her husband, and luckily they are on the same page: EQ is like a common language that they share which helps them discuss a lot of things in a constructive way. But it hasn’t always been like this. In fact, what changed for Lana the most is how she interacts with people, especially with her husband. He has been the first one to realize how much EQ has changed her before she even realized it herself. Lana only now realizes that she wasn’t there for him before, she wasn’t listening much and she was more talking about herself and not really trying to understand what he was going through. But once she did the program she became more mindful and started listening. This has completely changed their relationship, as now they have much more meaningful conversations. Lana says: “Like Jacqui said, it’s life changing and it definitely helps raise your consciousness seeing what you didn’t see before. You suddenly see things, and it’s a different reality. I approach emotional intelligence as the language of emotions. Once you know what emotions mean, it gives you power to make intentional choices.”.

Some of Jacqui’s experiences with her clients

Jacqui recalls one of her clients who was going through a really important shift from coaching through EQ coaching. The reason why Jacqui wanted to talk to her about the TFA exercise was because this person felt that was making decisions without any influence from outside, in an authentic way <Try TFA Cards to get a Hands-On Tool to Practice EQ>. But when together they started to peel back the layers, she realized how much impact other people’s opinion was having on her, thus affecting her actions and choices.  Every session with her got very emotional because they were breaking down deeply ingrained patterns, some of which had built up particularly over her challenging childhood. At the end, the feedback that the client gave Jacqui was that she gained her intention back and it allowed her to apply her own decision making with a more critical lens. Eventually, she was able to realize that what she was telling herself was not true, but it was a story based on patterns that she had been able to identify during the coaching sessions. This person didn’t have a very prosperous upbringing, she had real financial challenges in her childhood, therefore she was convinced that as an adult she could have never afforded to buy a house. This was the story she was telling herself to the point that she deeply believed it, but she managed to break that down, and Jacqui proudly said that her client is currently looking to buy a house, which is something she never thought was something she could do.

Another story Jacqui recalls is in the leadership space. She had a client who thought she had to strip herself completely of her character. She felt that she was not allowed to show her personality in the workplace because she felt it was inappropriate. She attended management meetings and was very quiet, did not give much confidence and did not laugh, which was very difficult for her. She was struggling to feel authentic in the business space, but together with Jacqui they managed to work through that. Jacqui remembers the time she finally came to a session and said: “Oh, I made a joke to the CEO and she just laughed and said ‘Oh, I didn’t realize how funny you were’ and then we just kept going (…) Now I know that I can actually be myself at work.”. 

Examples like these are the very reason why Jacqui and Lana are passionate about what they can do through LeadEQ. Because in the workplace, women particularly, in executive and senior leadership positions think that they have to do things in a certain way because of how they’ve seen others behave, usually men. Women think they have to suppress all emotions and their personality and act dry and stale. Therefore she says: “I’m really excited and passionate that we’re able to shift that narrative, showing that we can be authentic, we can show up as our true selves, and we can have empathy for the people that we work with, and we can talk about emotions.”.

Thank you Jacqui and Lana for sharing your EQ journey with us!

If you would like to share your story and be featured in future newsletters please email [email protected]

Want more resources on Female Leadership?

• • Empowering Women Leaders with Emotional Intelligence
  • Impact on Women at Work: 3 Key Insights From SOH Report 2021
  • Women Lead the COVID Recovery, but at What Cost? From SOH Report 2023 <Download here the full State of the Heart Report>

Forwarded this newsletter? You can subscribe to receive here.