Effective Emotional Intelligence Coaching: 4 Questions to Improve Client Outcomes with Social and Cultural Insights on Emotions

How do you understand emotions as a coach? Empower your clients and transform your coaching practice with a socially and culturally-informed approach to emotions.

By Dr. Ilaria Iseppato, PCC

As an Emotional Intelligence coach and trainer, I welcome daily experiences of telling clients how each emotion—pleasant or unpleasant—at a neuroscientific level, is nothing more than information about what is going on inside and outside of us. This information is crucial for making more conscious, intentional, and strategic decisions, as well as for achieving our goals and improving our performance in all fields. However, if we think that managing this emotional data and making good use of it is merely an introspective matter, or similar for everyone regardless of cultural background, we risk seeing things in a rather reductive way. Emotions, from a social and cultural point of view, are by no means neutral. Our experience with them is part of a complex social fabric with many unwritten rules and expectations – and understanding these sociocultural dimensions of emotions is essential for effective coaching. This insight enables you to tailor your coaching techniques to better meet the needs of your clients, resulting in more effective and empathetic coaching sessions.

Understanding emotions: one language with many dialects

Each society, family, or form of social aggregation defines what emotions are accepted, what linguistic labels to use to describe them, and regulates the ways in which they are manifested. This shapes the ability of its members to recognize, interpret, and experience them.

While it is true that there are certain primary emotions (such as fear, anger, sadness or joy – see Plutchik’s Model of Emotions for the 8 basic emotions) that are universally recognized, it is equally true that we do not all feel free to embrace and express them in the same ways. Expectations vary widely based on gender, social status, age, ethnicity, job role, and more. Here are some concrete examples, and there could be thousands more:

• Do men and women give each other permission to manifest sadness in the same way, perhaps by crying in public?
• Can an adult manifest joy with the same intensity as a child?
• Is anger socially accepted by everyone in the same way?
• Is it appropriate for all professional roles to manifest fear?

In my experience as a coach and sociologist, I often hear that a man has to keep his emotions at the door (but can express anger), while it is “normal” for a woman to be “emotional” (with a predominantly negative connotation). In professional settings, a culture of “leaving emotions out of it” forces people to wear a mask that distances them from their own authenticity – at a big personal and organizational cost. By exploring these questions, coaches can help clients become more self-aware and navigate their emotional landscapes more effectively. These sociological considerations become indispensable in the coach’s toolbox – and can be boiled down to 4 questions.

4 questions for coaches to improve client outcomes with sociocultural insights

For coaches, the key takeaway is to integrate sociological insights into their practice. Ask yourself:

1. Are the emotional patterns of my clients socially inherited?

2. How aware are they of these patterns?

3. Do they still need these patterns to satisfy social expectations?

4. What is the weight of social expectations on their choices?

By reflecting on these questions, coaches can better understand their clients’ emotional landscapes and provide more effective support. Additionally, coaches should examine their own biases and ensure they are empathetic and tolerant towards all emotions.

Examining your emotional patterns as a coach

 In your role as a coach, what socially inherited patterns should you pay attention to? Are there emotions with which you are more empathetic, welcoming, and tolerant and others less so? Do you practice active listening in an evaluative but nonjudgmental way?

Without proper introspection on our own relationship with socially constructed emotions, the coach-coachee relationship itself may risk fueling socio-emotional dynamics that are counterproductive to the client’s goals and professionally unethical. In this sense, the co-construction of the coaching relationship and the narrative that emerges from it requires, on the part of the coach, an exercise of empathy that transcends the social conditioning and emotional culture in which he or she is embedded, to the extent it is possible.

Building stronger client relationships with deeper insights on emotions

Understanding the sociocultural dimensions of emotions and integrating these insights into coaching practices can transform the coach-coachee relationship. It fosters a deeper connection, promotes authenticity, and drives better outcomes. By embracing these techniques, coaches can enhance their effectiveness, build stronger client relationships, and maintain high ethical standards in their practice. Explore more about effective emotional intelligence coaching techniques at www.6seconds.org/coaching and take your coaching practice to the next level.

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