This is the web version of Six Seconds’ Voices from the Network newsletter. To subscribe to this and other newsletters from Six Seconds, click here.

Why do people choose to develop emotional intelligence and why do they turn to Six Seconds for their path? In “Voices from Six Seconds Network,” we introduce you to people in the network who share their experiences, personal journeys, and how they embrace EQ in different areas of their daily lives.

Voices from the Network: Samina Uddin

by Maddalena Campitelli

“I want to be a person who FEELS.  To be a good coach, I need to be present for my clients and FEEL with them.”.– Samina Uddin

Samina was at a crossroads. She was enrolled in a professional coaching certification that focused on protocols and procedures. In her final observed coaching session, her client shared a painful breakup story; Samina didn’t respond. Her evaluator noticed that she froze and suggested that the appropriate response would have been to say “I’m sorry to hear that,” and move on. 

Samina’s experience is all-too-frequent. Even in a high-quality coach training, emotions are treated as tangential. Yet in the process of change and growth, clients and coaches experience strong, complex emotions. Instead of ignoring, or giving a passing nod to feelings like regular coaching does, Emotional intelligence coaching actively engages feelings as a valuable resource. Learn more about emotional intelligence coaching.

While she lacked confidence, Samina felt like something was missing when emotions were excluded from coaching. But how was she supposed to use emotions? She didn’t even feel comfortable with her own emotions, so how could she support her clients? Samina felt troubled and doubted herself: “Am I even a good coach? Am I really fit to coach?” 

These questions were swirling around and challenged Samina’s self-confidence. Can you relate? Do you ever have the feeling of not living up to the expectations you set for yourself? Sometimes we can be too hard on ourselves and end up becoming our own most critical judges.  In time Samina recognized she needed to open herself to emotions and get serious about developing skills and coaching practices to better deal with them.

This was the beginning of a journey integrating emotional intelligence to her work. Now Samina is a recent graduate from Six Seconds Coaching program and is learning day by day to grow her emotional intelligence and support her clients with tools. 

The first step to help her clients with their feelings, Samina decided it was time to learn to get comfortable with her own emotions. She found Six Seconds and liked its integrated theory and practice approach. Six Seconds has a cyclical, practical model of emotional intelligence that is anchored in building coaching skills starting on the inside. 

When Samina thought about why she froze up during her previous coaching evaluation: “The reason I was not going there with the client was because I was overwhelmed with my own emotions, and at the same time I didn’t know how to support the other person and this made me feel helpless.” Recalling that moment when her evaluator said to say sorry and simply move on, Samina realized that she didn’t want to be cut off that way, “I want to be a person who feels. To be a good coach, I need to be present for my clients and feel with them.”

(continues below)

Meet Samina Uddin LinkedIn →

Professional achievements: Samina Uddin holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Relations from Concordia University, a Professional and Personal Coaching Certificate from John Molson School of Business, and Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification from Six Seconds. She is an Associate Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation. Samina has a Coaching Practice serving women internationally, through which she offers group and one-on-one coaching on self development using methods, including Emotional and Positive Intelligence, in building relationships and achieving personal objectives.

Favorite Six Seconds Learning Philosophy: ‘1 2 3 Pasta’ because it doesn’t allow me to overthink and rethink – and sometimes not even take the action. I find it easiest to implement when I am writing an email or a text message: I look it over once then I just ‘123 pasta,’ and press the send button. 

Learn about Six Seconds Learning Philosophy →

Noble Goal: My Noble Goal is a work in progress. Here is what I have at the moment: ‘to empower women to discover and utilize their unique gifts to make the world a better place.’

Learn about Six Seconds Noble Goals →  

Her “Don’t Miss This” Six Seconds tools & courses: My favorite Six Seconds tool is VET (Validate, Explore, Transform) because it allows me to pause and respond instead of autopilot reaction. I loved the Practitioner course because it contained exercises to develop my own EQ.

 Join us for an info session on VET tool certification and learn the process for navigating emotions →

As Samina went through the Six Seconds Coaching program, she learned about tools and methods that use emotions as messages. She learned more about the wisdom of emotions and how to leave space for clients to feel deeply. Samina wanted to grow her coaching skills with emotions and face emotions head on.

In the Six Seconds’ model, this skill is called Navigating Emotions. Rather than pushing them away, or avoiding feelings, Navigating emotions is about using emotions as a source of insight and energy. To figure out how, Samina practiced with the Think-Feel-Act Cards (Get your own set of TFA cards here and try the TFA Cards App). Samina would go through the TFA steps while thinking of situations when a client could bring up something personal and very emotional. 

At first, her biggest challenge was that she didn’t know what to say or do – how to respond to the client. When she felt stuck she froze and felt insecure and anxious. Then her usual pattern was to avoid the topic and change the subject. This was a conflicting set of feelings because she wanted to fix it for her clients and solve their problems. Samina realized this burden of wanting to “fix it” for her client was connected to her sense of feeling overwhelmed. She was taking on her client’s emotions and those feelings weighed her down. One day while practicing with the TFA Cards looking into more “Think” options, a new card came up. “What part of this is my responsibility?” A lightbulb went on for Samina. She said to herself, “As a coach, I’m supposed to empower them, I’m not supposed to fix them!”

Samina reflected that as a coach, while it is important to acknowledge the client’s feelings, she is not responsible for them, but  rather the client is responsible for themselves. Her role is to encourage, champion and guide them to take care of themselves, finding the answers to move forward so they can find their own wisdom and strengths. This new coaching mindset was really an Ah-ha moment for Samina. It allowed her to shift her feelings from overwhelm and gave her space to be patient, relaxed, and calmly handle emotional situations. She was able to be present and listen actively to what the client was feeling. 

Samina says, “I feel I’m moving, I am developing my EQ and I am becoming a better EQ coach, this way I’m helping myself and my clients in a never ending journey where I keep moving forward – and that’s what I like.” She found learning about emotions and the coaching process is deeply making a difference in her life through her relationships, in understanding herself, in her confidence as a coach as well.

By practicing EQ Samina had learned to express and embrace emotions. Before she was hiding from them, blocking the big ones she thought she couldn’t handle, and doing so, she was blocking the little emotions as well. She was missing out on so much. Samina’s EQ journey has brought her to become an advocate for EQ. By practicing it more and more she can now fully grasp what she heard Josh saying many times: “Everything depends on emotions” and now she truly understands the importance of EQ in peoples’ lives.

Thank you Samina for sharing your EQ journey with us! 

If you would like to share your story and be featured in future newsletters please email [email protected] 

 ———————-

​​​​Want more resources about the VET technique and navigating and embracing all emotions?

Coaching Emotions: Can coaches engage their own and clients’ feelings? (The Emotional Intelligence Livestream #22)

How Are You Feeling About Feelings? Coaching with Emotional Intelligence

Navigating Emotions to Increase Personal Connection

Feeling Stuck? Try This 3-Step Technique

Integrated Emotions: Rethinking feelings as allies so we can escape the ‘negative emotions’ trap

Keeping Emotions Out of It Is Actually a Disaster for Decision Making