EQ Life Archives • Page 5 of 5 • Six Seconds

Assessing Trust

Want more clarity about how much you trust someone? Try these 3 techniques for assessing trust in a relationship.

Ask More Powerful Questions

What makes a powerful question? Teachers, coaches, parents who want to generate deeper thinking need to know these three levels – with video.

Don’t Settle for Happiness: Make Life Worth Living

How do you increase happiness, and is that a useful goal? What do we mean by happiness anyway? Using emotional intelligence we can go from ‘happy’ to ‘thriving.’

Solving the Biggest Problems: Daniel Shapiro on Emotional Intelligence and Negotiation

How to effectively resolve conflict? “Emotional intelligence is essential,” says Daniel Shapiro, Harvard International Negotiation Program.

Where Do You Want The Ball To Go?

I’ve noticed something intriguing – if you have no idea what result you want, you’re unlikely to get it. My skills at pool/billiards are terrible, but I still can plan ahead and think about how I’m going to whack the cue ball to get a particular result. Isn’t this true of all of our interactions? If we decide “where we want the ball to go” in our meetings, conversations, interactions… then it’s much more probably we can make that happen.

The Way You Are

Is there a way to be unconditionally loving, and also to hold high expectations? As parents, can we love our kids “as they are” AND help them be better?

Beneath the Surface

Are we more interested in the appearance of the thing, or the thing itself? There is a seduction of the surface. It’s easy to see. It’s easy to put in a photo. It’s easy to say, “We’re doing it right.” It’s just plain easier. As stress levels rise and we are too busy even to be busy, we skim. The surface is faster. Depth takes reflection. It takes ambiguity and curiosity and the effort of turning the wheel firmly enough to leap out of the deeply worn ruts in the roads of our minds.

The Paradox of Giving Yourself

It may seem like a paradox, but people who focus on giving feel and do better… and so do businesses.

Feel the Power: Flexing EQ

The use of power is central to our interactions as leaders, coaches, parents, and change agents. To be more effective, emotional intelligence will help us understand and tune up our own use of power and the ways people react to that. There are dozens, maybe hundreds, of different forms of power. All of these “work” in some sense. If they generate certain desired there are “benefits.” At the same time, each produces unwanted side effects, called “costs.” What are some of the forms of power that you have, and that you exercise? What happens when you exercise these different forms of power? What price do you pay for each such use?

What, How, Why: Transforming with EQ

If we don’t shift gears, we are choosing global devastation — socially, environmentally, economically — and while millions of people are working to make things better, humanity is still finding it incredibly difficult to change the game to a sustainable, prosperous, and joyful future. At Six Seconds we’ve found incredibly powerful methods of catalyzing positive […]

Are We Wired for Empathy?

The neuroscience of empathy is fascinating and offers practical lessons for leadership and life. Our brains are wired for social connection through Mirror Neurons, which cause us to experience what we perceive.

The Princess with the Glass Heart

When I was very small – probably about seven – I read a fairy tale about a princess who was born with a glass heart. In the story, this princess grew into a lovely young woman. Early one day, feeling joy at the sight of the first crocuses or daffodils or tulips in the palace […]

‘If You Want To Know What A Child Is Thinking, Watch Their Fingers.’

I went to a funeral last week. Mary C. Laycock was a wonderful mathematician and teacher. I worked with her at Nueva School in Hillsborough, CA and knew her for many years. Her students adored her and her ‘Mary’s Math.’ One lesson with Mary and you would develop an insight into math that would stay […]

Physiology of Emotion, Exercise, and Change

I was recently talking to a group about the fact that we can choose how we feel. “But didn’t you say emotions are an automatic biological response?” Yes, in fact, I did… but don’t we have choice about our biology? I remember years ago interviewing neurobiologist Debra Niehoff about the way some people seemed […]

Addressing 21st Century Issues with Emotional Intelligence: A conversation with Daniel Goleman and The Six Seconds EQ Network

Exercise or Die? Emotional Intelligence and Health

For the past 20 years, my most rigorous exercise has been carrying my laptop around the world. Still, when I went to the doctor for a checkup (finally), I was surprised and dismayed by my blood pressure. [This article was first published 12/21/2005 — the good news: I’ve come to like exercise!] Over the years […]

Right Speech by Eknath Easwaran

Karen McCown, Six Seconds’ Founder, handed this article to me several years ago. It’s stuck with me as a powerful set of guidelines for being impeccable with words. The children, Patty and I have discussed the “three gatekeepers” often over the last years; we started when the kids were 4 and 6 years old and […]

The Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence

The Six Seconds model turns EQ theory into practice for your personal and professional life. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions — which is key to having a successful relationship with yourself and others. To provide a practical and simple way to learn and practice emotional intelligence, Six Seconds developed a three-part model in 1997 as a process – an action plan for using emotional intelligence in daily life.

Assent, Dissent, Descent

Recently… I told Emma (8-year-old daughter) she needed to get dressed to go. Instant protest, heel-dragging, power struggle. Yet we were going to do something she wanted! I observed a new cross-functional team starting up. The person assigned to schedule the first meeting asserted, “Since no one else wants to, I will chair the team.” […]

Alone in the Parade

The drive to connect, to be accepted, is both glorious and brutal. It drives us to care and connect — and to engage in self-destructive behavior in a desperate bid to fit. The “thinness” of digital connection can’t actually be fixed by quantity — just as one can not get a healthy meal by eating a LOT of junk — but the thinness may drive people to want more.

Finding Peace Amidst Holiday Stress

Finding Peace Amidst Holiday Stress – Tips for an “Emotionally Intelligent” Holiday Paradoxically, holidays are extremely stressful. Given all the bad news we’re facing in the economy, this year may be especially challenging. There are so many expectations, so much to accomplish, and so many feelings all rolled together. Holidays are rituals and we […]

The Princess with the Glass Heart

by Anabel Jensen, Ph.D. When I was very small — probably about seven — I read a fairy tale about a princess who was born with a glass heart. In the story, this princess grew into a lovely young woman. Early one day, feeling joy at the sight of the first crocuses or daffodils or […]

Physics of Emotion: Candace Pert on Feeling Good

“Emotions are literally changing the chemistry of every cell of your body,” says Dr. Pert, “and affecting the world outside your body.”

Beyond Survival: Guilding Adversity With Hope

Anabel Jensen, Ph.D. It was two days after Christmas, 1998, and my son, Caleb, and I were sitting in front of a roaring fire with cups of hot chocolate (mine had a bunch of tiny marshmallows) and we were reviewing and reminiscing about previous Christmas days — those memories that made us laugh or cry. […]

Fight or Flow Part Two: “Water Is Stronger”

This second half of “Fight or Flow” explores the alternative to the kinds of “hitting back first” reactions discussed in part one. To constructively engage with emotions requires reframing the way we think — and feel — about feelings. It’s always amazed me that these heavy stones can move — float — on a cushion […]

Fight or Flow Part I: “Hit Back First”

Why do we react – explode – shut down… and how can we use insights from current neuroscience to be less reactive?

Choosing Optimism: An Interview with Martin EP Seligman, Ph.D.

What is optimism? Can it be learned? How? Martin Seligman is one of the preeminent experts on optimism and a founder of positive psychology. This interview explores many of the key ingredients for creating a happy, fulfilled life and introduces the concept of positive psychology. Josh: The tool that you introduced at the Nexus EQ […]

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