3 Key Ideas on Parenting with Emotional Intelligence
By Joshua Freedman
Parenting is hard.
Here are 3 key ideas to practice emotional intelligence with your kids and yourself.
1. See emotions as data
As parents, we’re faced with a lot of complex feelings – ours and our children’s. It’s easy to be overwhelmed. Some parents push feelings aside while other parents give feelings too much power. Instead, consider emotions as information: “Oh, that’s interesting. I wonder what this feeling means?”
This attitude of curiosity helps us find value and insight from feelings while stepping back from reacting. The Emotoscope Feeling Chart is a great resource for understanding the meaning and purpose of all feelings.
2. Hold onto your choices
Sometimes we think, “there’s nothing I can do,” or, “my child is always going to be _____” or, “she will never ______.” We’ve tried telling, yelling, time-outs…. and we’re ready to pop. Remember, parenting is a many-years-long marathon, and it gets exhausting. And, that also means we have many chances to try again. To learn, to experiment: We have choices.
This attitude of learning helps us parents remain resilient as we continue to adapt to kids’ changing needs. This is especially difficult when we’re in conflict – try one of these strategies to ‘fight well with others.’
3. Keep parenting on purpose
Parenting is one of the most powerful ways to affect the future. As parents, we directly influence not only our children, but a whole generation of young people who will lead, innovate, grow – and, many of whom will also be parents in turn. When we feel connected to our own sense of purpose-as-parents, it gives us perspective. The small things remain small. Purpose becomes a guide to help us navigate the complexities.
This focus on the long-term, and putting our vision into action, helps us maintain balance and energy. One of the most powerful ways to build this is collaborating as a family on a larger mission — together, hold a POP-UP Festival in partnership with UNICEF World Children’s Day. It works beautifully with a few friends, or a whole community.
Parenting Resources
10 Simple Ways to Build Trust as a Parent
Kids & Screen Time: 5 Practical Tips for Parents
Want Less Conflict with Your Kids? Try Empathy
3 Steps to Get Started Today
1. Read Whole-Hearted Parenting
How can emotional intelligence help us be the parents we mean to be?
“Josh Freedman offers parents sane and sound advice about how to raise good kids. Whole-Hearted Parenting is a reader-friendly, no-blame guide to parenthood that any mom or dad will find of great use – especially in those trying moments when it’s not clear what to do.”
You’ll learn practical tips and techniques to:
- Effectively blend thinking and feelings in your parenting
- Use emotions to help focus and motivate your kids
- Leverage the power of optimism to make parenting more fun
- Respond intentionally instead of reacting on autopilot
- Strengthen empathy to better understand and influence your child
2. Join Emotional Intelligence Certification
Want to unlock your potential as a parent with emotional intelligence training?
We recommend two courses for parents looking to grow and practice emotional intelligence:
Unlocking EQ – Dive into the how, what, and why of emotional intelligence and learn about the Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence. Two 1.5 hour sessions, live online, and a prerequisite for all advanced courses.
EQ Practitioner
This course starts with your customized EQ assessment, followed by three full days of hands-on, dynamic instruction, activities, current neuroscience, practical tips and more.
You’ll learn how to:
- Clarify your purpose and most important goals.
- Explore your patterns and self-limiting beliefs.
- Make better decisions by evaluating all your options.
Leave with an in-depth understanding of emotional intelligence and practical new tools to apply immediately in your life.
3. Collaborate 1-on-1 with a Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach.
Ready to dive in and start solving your most pressing problems with a certified EQ coach?
Combine Six Seconds’ assessments for both adults and youth with experts who can help you unpack the results and turn insight into action. Just contact us and we’ll put you in touch with a Six Seconds Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach.
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